The times have changed

In the recent days our country elected Donald Trump as President of the United States of America. Words cannot express my disappointment. It has motivated me to stop being idle and be more active in our democracy. It may be a small act for now, but I've started by writing letters to those who affected me most. Below you will find my open letter to Donald Trump:

Donald Trump
The Trump Organization
725 5th Avenue
New York, NY 10022

Dear Mr. Trump,
I know this is one of millions of letters you’ve received but please listen and do not dismiss my plea for unity. While you and I may disagree on a variety of policy issues, we also know that you will certainly fail as president if you do not bring our nation together. The responsibility is now yours to speak out loud, and most importantly often, denouncing the racism and other bigotries we are seeing across the country. This is something that can only be done by you, as the leader of the masses who now feel it’s appropriate to hate. You succeeded in winning over millions of voters (albeit the majority) and now have the privilege of being the face of America and listening to its citizens. Listen as the popular vote demands you speak out against such hatred. We will not tolerate it and if you want us on your side, you will agree and act as such.

Thank you for listening,
Rebecca Axner

Per Plan

The piece of advice I give to expecting mothers is "Have a birth plan and know nothing goes according to plan". My birth plan for delivering Kyra was simple, have Trevor in the delivery room. No birth plan existed for Zoey; maybe because how things went with Kyra, maybe because we knew what to expect, or maybe because we didn't have the time to create one. When we got to the hospital the nurse asked us what our plan was. We just looked at each other with question. She wrote down, "Healthy, Fast and Painless". She got it right.

After 6 hours of labor and 2.5 pushes, Zoey Emeline Axner was delivered at 6:41am on May 13, 2012, Mother's Day. She's been a joy ever since!

Turning two

Experiencing Kyra turn two was more a feeling of amazement than bittersweet, as was one. The child has turned into such a toddler! She struggles through wanting to be independent and needing the comfort only a parent can provide. Her personality has developed and she's found her own sense of humor. She can be shy but also loves to be praised in the spotlight. Daycare has provided her the knowledge to count to ten in Spanish and English as well as how to pick a fight. While she's not ready for toilet training, she has learned how to use the potty and now sleeps in a twin bed. She mimics most of what you say, so choose your words carefully!

We can't wait to see what a loving big sister she will become....any day now.

Cheek, cheek, nose

I was holding Kyra in my arms about to put her down for bed when she took her little hand and pushed my face to the side. I was about to yell at her for slapping me when instead she gave me a kiss on the cheek. She proceeded to mimic the action on my other side. Then she grabbed both sides of my face, said "nose" and kissed my nose. Where does she come up with this stuff? I love it!

3-for-1 Florida Special

With a touch of luck and a lot of coordination we were able to fit three visits to Florida within one trip. All we could think of while planning the vacation was how perfectly everything was fitting into place. After describing the itinerary to a friend, we realized that we may have gotten in a bit over our head's with the multiple cities, new faces and terrifying sand. Kyra was a trooper and the whole vacation ended with more smiles than tears.

Sarasota
It didn't take much time to assimilate to the warm weather and lack of agenda. Only with shoes on, Kyra ran free on the beach and chased after birds. She threw a fit leaving the heated pool, a sign of good times to come.

We met up with Wash U friends, some of whom we hadn't seen in seven years. It was great to catch up and reminisce about the college years. The 50 ft pool was heated to 85 degrees, just warm enough to keep Kyra from turning blue against the 65 degree weather. She continued to throw fits leaving the warm pool water and needed her shoes for the beach. Evenings were spent cuddling around the bonfire and roasting marshmallows. On the morning we left, Kyra learned how to fly and lose a kite. Luckily a fisherman about 500 yards out caught the kite to give to his granddaughter (or so we hope).

Orlando
We drove inland to spend some time with Mickey Mouse and Trevor's family. Rebecca was so excited for Kyra to experience the Magic Kingdom, she was sure there would be some let down. Kyra did not disappoint! She loved all the rides and characters Disney had to offer. The rest of the time in Orlando was spent eating delicious food and visiting. Oliver wanted to spend his first birthday feeding geese. The kids had a blast at the park even though one "bad duck" bit Kyra.


Fort Myers
The beach was calling so we drove southwest to the Goldberg's home away from home. The Ellweins were there to greet us. For four days we played at beaches, parks, and pools. Watching the big kids, Kyra learned how to jump out after hiding and enjoy the sand sans footwear! Another thoroughly joyful stop on our Florida adventure.

After many days of good food, Kyra sleeping in closets and having full days of fun, we needed to return. Thanks to all for a wonderful break from the cold weather. We very much enjoyed spending the time with everyone!

What they don't tell you

Nobody warns you how hard it is to watch your child turn one year old. They don't tell you how crippled you feel when you realize that the day is here and there's nothing you can do to pause time. Depressing.

We considered warning Sara and Scott about little Ada turning one. Then we thought, they have so much to look forward to. In those mere 5 months before Ada turns one, she will learn to hug and kiss, crawl and feed herself. While it's sad that Kyra has outgrown the fragility that Ada currently has, it's so exciting and wonderful to experience her ever-growing personality and skill set. Watching her learn and change just makes us more curious to find out who she will become.

So yes, you can't pause time, but you also can't speed it up. Maybe we'll just enjoy our little one year old. She is pretty great!

Sun Yea, Sand Nay - Take Two

Even though we had just vacationed in Mexico only several weeks prior, a trip to Florida was exactly what we needed. Work was overly stressful and with an upcoming major bathroom remodel, it was a well planned break before our lives would turn upside down.

We flew down to Ft. Myers to celebrate my dad's birthday. The only downside to the flight was that we didn't get the star treatment we received on our Mexico vacation. (What's up, Humphrey terminal??) While my dad may not have been too excited about turning 60, the rest of us were thrilled.

The sun, water and relaxation were marvelous! We stayed in next door two-bedroom condos on the beach. Kyra was a fabulous eater down south and devoured whole bananas and strawberries like she was an adult. We tried giving Kyra a second introduction to the sand but she remembered the "horrors" or Mexico. Being the brave girl that she is, she did take a chance to play in the ocean. Most of our time was spent swimming in the pool, walking along the vast beach and having dance parties in the living room. Kyra and Ada were adorable together. Watching them be so loving was incredible...and hysterical (photos pending).

Thanks, Dad! Can you turn 60 again next year?

Sun Yea, Sand Nay

Sara, Scott, Ada, Jennifer and the three of us all took a trip to Mexico to savor the sun and enjoy pina coladas on the beach. Our minds had wavered between considering the excursion with infants to be a great and crazy idea. Although seeing a babies passport is oh so cute. Packing took days, if not weeks. Many thanks to Florie and other girlfriends for providing advice on what to bring. Our packing list was so huge (and of course so incredibly organized) it was considered a "disorder". No matter, it helped!

First thing to note, bring a stroller. Having a stroller was the golden key at the airport. We got through security in a snap, jumped ahead of everyone at check-in and breezed through customs. Kyra was wonderful on the plane. She only napped 30 minutes the whole first day, but didn't whine, cry or disturb other passengers.

Clouds lingered through our first full day but not all was lost because we got to see Sara, Scott and little Ada! It also allowed everyone to adjust to a new rhythm. We spent our days lounging by the pool and ocean, well mostly the pool since it turns out Kyra is terrified of sand (her feet curl up against her bottom at the sight of it). The girls napped in our arms while we lounged under umbrellas. Swimming, eating, and drinking filled our afternoons.

Come dinnertime, we ran into some issues. The hotel had promised us adjoining rooms which they did not follow through on, not even with an apology. We were forced to split up at night since dinner was only served after the girls bedtimes and attempts at extending their day had failed. It was still delicious and with good company.

Valentine's Day Kyra gave both Rebecca and Trevor a treat. Rebecca learned that swim diapers really don't hold anything in as she felt a stream of pee while holding Kyra. Trevor learned that you should always carry an extra pair of clothes with you in case your daughter takes a dump so large it overflows her diaper and leaves a pile of crap in your lap (literally). While these weren't the gifts a parent savors on Valentine's Day, they were quite hilarious.

Overall, we learned a lot on the trip, had tons of fun, and got much needed relaxation and warm weather. Watching Kyra and Ada hold hands on their own accord was beyond touching. While we won't be visiting the exact location again, we will be making the trip annually. And we guarantee you will find us stepping up to the front of all lines since we'll be toting the stroller along, at least until Kyra is 12 years old.

Dear Clothing Manufacturers

Please sync your sizes!

Why must a Gerber 9-12 equate to a Gap 3-6 which is the same as a Carter 6 month or 9 month, depending?

It should only take a cloth ruler and not a PhD to figure this out.

Thank you,

Kyra's stylist

Happiness versus Fulfillment

A friend recently told me of a survey conducted between adults with kids and adults without kids. Adults without kids consistently ranked happier than adults with kids. So why do we want kids?

If I were to rank my happiness before and after having Kyra, I would align with the masses. What I realized is the decline in pure happiness is made up for by the extreme sense of fulfillment. Watching my daughter learn and grow is the most satisfying reward a person can experience.

Sitting on the couch watching reruns from the week and drinking an IPA on a Friday night does not sound like a night worth looking forward to. Yet as a parent, I sit there and know my child is sleeping soundly in her crib and am extremely satisfied. I now look forward to an early Saturday morning wake up call. While getting up at 6am does not make me happy, I'm completely fulfilled hearing her giggle with her dad.

Is it a cliche if it's true?

Parenting is the hardest and most rewarding experience....Your life completely changes....Priorities shift....Sleep is a luxury....You will do anything for your child. These cliches are the best way to describe parenthood but somehow don't even begin to describe it or prepare you.

Maternity leave would be just like summer vacation. We would take walks every day, visit friends, go shopping, do yoga, be BWE, read! I had a very idealistic view of my time off. It's amazing how little you can accomplish in day with a newborn. That was probably the hardest lesson. Every day I had to remind myself of my new priorities: Kyra, eat, sleep, Cheddar, then everything else. Now and again something, usually sleep, would be set aside to indulge in my fanciful version of life in order to maintain my own sanity.

Now that the time is almost over, I feel satisfied with where we are and what we've achieved. But mostly I feel sad and terrified that I don't get to be bothered every three hours for a feeding and diaper change. How am I going to live without seeing Kyra smile as she falls asleep or pout when she gets hungry or struggle through her developing digestive system? We'll have to wait and see...

Unbelievable

Looking back, we made many poor choices. In our defense, we were ignorant. The insane events and emotion can not be described in full.

It started Monday night with minor, irregular contractions. Our last appointment was Friday afternoon with no progress which led us to believe it was only Braxton Hicks. By 6am, the contractions were short but more frequent. The on-call doctor figured it was nothing but advised to stay home from work. Rebecca's mom came by to help keep track of timing, just in case. We made an appointment to see the doctor which would help us determine if Trevor should come home from his work trip in Bismarck. A hospital bag was thrown together and we were on our way. By 10:45am the doctor determined Rebecca was already at 6cm and should go to the hospital immediately.

This is not happening. Trevor, come home now!

The epidural was administered and everything progressed much faster than expected. There was no way to delay. Meanwhile, Trevor cruised along at top speeds trying to get back to the hospital. Thanks to a gas station under repair the car ran out of gas. Trevor found someone to give him a ride to get a gallon from the nearby co-op which would get him to the next gas station and eventually to Fargo to meet a private prop plane to cut the final three and a half hours down to one.

Even though we weren't physically together for the birth of Kyra, Trevor encouraged Rebecca via bluetooth and was able to hear the first cries of our new daughter. Even though in the moment the situation was less than desired, being together with this little bundle of joy somehow makes us forget how we got here.

Moving On

As stress relieving as the closing was, it was also quite bittersweet. Saying goodbye to Wentworth was more emotional than expected. Maybe it's because we're not just leaving the house, but an era.

Things we will miss:

• Dark wood
• Two and a half car garage
• Fully fenced in back yard
• Front porch
• Bathroom space and storage
• Claw-foot tub
• Electrical where you want it

Luckily, most of the list above can be added to our new house. And knowing us, it'll just take time...

Thanks to all for the love and support you have shown through the years, and especially the past few months!

San Diego

A cold spell fell onto Minnesota a few weeks ago. It wasn't just Minnesota; other typically warm states were hit as well. At the time, the hottest location in the United States was San Diego, CA. With the help of frequent flier miles and Hotwire, we had a long weekend booked in no time.

The trip was off to a great start (after the usual Delta delay). We had a "stolen" Reese's cup in hand, Thai in our bellies and sandals on. Strolling along Mission Bay was exactly what we needed. For dinner we hopped into the Volkswagen bus at Hodad's on Ocean Beach for burgers and milkshakes. The next day we walked all around the San Diego zoo and Balboa Park. We drove downtown for tapas in the Gas Lamp district. There was a big event scheduled around Mission Bay Saturday so we decided to head up north and hike around Torrey Pines. Unfortunately it rained a lot that morning, but we made the most of it, along with the surfers outside of La Jolla. It cleared up in the afternoon and we were able to see seals lounging on the beach. We stopped by a coffee shop in Corando for our customary Eastern European early evening. Trevor had his typical beer and coffee while Rebecca substituted her Rum for a peanut butter cookie. By evening, we found our way to El Indio and the rest of the Uptown area. Our last full day was spent with brunch in Mission Beach along with a walk in the sun. Then onto Point Loma to see the tide pools and have a late seafood lunch. We treated ourselves to cake and ice cream at Extraordinary Desserts in Little Italy. Then ended the trip with a walk around Old Town and along Ocean Beach before heading to the airport (and another Delta delay).

B.A.

With all the house activity, we've let the pregnancy progress without much concern. Now that there's only one more trimester left, focus has changed. Maternity clothes have been purchased/borrowed, registering is (almost) complete and the nursery is ready for painting.

We've been lucky and Baby Axner is checking in as "normal" at every appointment. The ultrasound in late December was such a surreal and thrilling experience. Check out our photo albums to see little B.A. at 6 and 20 weeks.

We're getting excited!

Summoned

I was recently summoned to jury duty in Hennepin County. If you talked to me throughout the week, you would have heard me complain, whine and roll my eyes.

I admit, I was planning on never being needed for jury duty so I opted for call-in status. Sunday night I had my first sigh of relief. By Monday afternoon they already needed me. I had trouble getting downtown, finding parking and following the signs to the assembly room and office. There was a lengthy "orientation" followed immediately by two requests for juries. My name was called for the second request.

It took a full day for jury selection. The process was long and drawn out. A lot of time was wasted hanging out in the hallway. After all the questioning, the lawyers decided my opinion was necessary. Over the next two days we listened to instructions, opening statements, witnesses and finally closing arguments. It felt like a LONG time. In actuality, we were only in the courtroom for about 5 hours.

We spent a few hours on our last day deliberating. It was an interesting discussion where I'm sure everyone learned something. After the verdict was announced, the judge asked to meet with us to get feedback. This small gesture added so much to the process that I was swayed to think it was overall a great experience! Plus, you can't beat the $10/day, not including mileage even though I took the bus.

10 blocks west

After looking through almost 100 houses in two months, we found our future home. As of today we are the proud owners of a house just 10 blocks west of where we currently live. The location is beyond perfect for us. It's our style with old wood floors, built-ins, a fireplace and multiple sunrooms. The kitchen is big, the basement is unfinished and there's potential for a third floor expansion. While it's move-in ready, we won't be packing up until after we sell our current house. Instead, we'll take the time to make the house ours with various electrical and paint projects. It's exciting and scary to see all the potential the house has and to know it's just a matter of getting it done. Luckily we have many years ahead of us!

This house-buying experience vastly contrasted to our last house purchase. The market was quite a bit different six years ago. The day our house was put on the market, we walked through and within hours put in our final offer (above asking price due to multiple offers). What a whirlwind! Without the pressure this time around, we saw the house a few times before deciding it could be our future home. Negotiations were settled upon and today we closed. We feel very lucky in both cases to find such beautiful properties. Now we just have to unload the first one!

For anyone interested, check out www.4618wentworth.com!

Hooplas, Camping and more

It is so convenient that Trevor's 30th birthday fell smack in the middle of Labor Day weekend. Thanks to summer hours and flex time, we were both able to take Friday off without using a vacation day. To start things off right, we headed to the State Fair to indulge in fried goodness. The day began with a blackberry milk shake at the Dairy Building, as close as you can get to our daily smoothie. We met up with family to check out our pickles on display. After 5 hours, our bellies were filled with corn on the cob, cheese curds, turkey sandwiches, pronto pups, fried pickles and cookies. Even though the food was spectacular, the best part of the day was the Giant Slide. You really can't beat six adults racing down on burlap sacks!(Pictured left to right: Sam, Sara, Scott, Jennifer, Rebecca, Trevor)

After a short recovery nap, we got the party started. Trevor's favorite people made it over to celebrate the big day. A bonfire, dance party and wrestling match with a gigantic monkey helped make the event a success. Thanks to all who participated - this was the first party that ended with less alcohol than started. We really appreciate it!

The festivities continued with a family lunch at French Meadow, another recovery nap, and a trip to Nerstrand Big Woods camp sites. We got a walk-in site, which was great. Ted Cooks was on the menu along with essential s'mores, gourmet style. Cheddar was a huge disturbance protector and fended off the evil wind/squirrels by his growling. After camping, the Friedpeople had to return to Chicago. But we continued celebrating with a romantic dinner at Solera, a walk to the Hennepin bridge and a movie in the theater (The Hangover - highly recommended)!

Last up was a barbeque in the park on Monday. Many yard games were played, including mega-golf, bocce ball, and speedminton. All of which Trevor (surprisingly) won. That's what happens when you turn 30!

Mt. Waverley

How does a 15 hour flight trump a 3.5 hour flight? The DC777-200LR. My biggest learning from my recent trip to Australia is that traveling BusinessElite is definitely the way to go. Not only does your seat fully recline, the food, drinks and service are better, but you also get to use the express lanes through customs! I might not be home if it weren't for the BreezeWay (tm).

We had a day and a half of free time before starting work Monday morning. After getting settled into our apartment, we took a stroll into the town of Glen Waverley. On the small street, there were multiple Asian restaurants and grocery stores. We filled ourselves with Thai and bought our first round of groceries. We took the 30 minute MetLink into Melbourne for some quick site seeing. After strolling the Yarra river and nearby botanical gardens, we walked through the city and found a restaurant in South Gate. I tried char-grilled kangaroo, it was good. Sunday we drove to Dandendong National Park, did some hiking and tasted wine at a wonderful little winery. The rest of the week was spent at the plant or at our apartment. I won't bore you with those details. Thursday night the team took us to the sea for dinner and dessert. It was beautiful!

Though my time was quick, it definitely gave me a view into the country and intensified my desire to explore further. Now I just need to figure out how to get another BuinessElite ticket!

Bled and Beyond

The town of Bled sits adjacent to a shining blue lake with a church on an island and a clifftop castle. Nothing gets more picturesque, especially with the Julian Alps in the background. You can't help but be relaxed surrounded by such beauty. We arrived mid-morning and spent the day in the town walking up the cliff and around lake. Again the weather was not very cooperative, but certainly didn't keep us indoors. It was easy to convince Scott to join in our afternoon ritual of coffee and beers. We also introduced him to the delicious Bosnian meat, cevapcici. With a great night under our belts, we took the next day to explore the national park. We visited both Bohinj Lake and a nearby waterfall before lunch. Then we drove back to Vintnar Gorge with it's crushing rapids and winding wooden paths and bridges. Both were sights to be seen! We spent our last evening with pizza and wine on the balcony with cards.

We are currently home after a quick jaunt in Amsterdam. The trip has been incredible and we thank everyone at home who helped us take this journey. We feel so lucky to have been able to explore such beautiful countries for so long. It is highly recommended!